Polar_L - Suspended

OK I will address this.  Happy Halloween!

First I request that the console logs be released to give the correct version of events. There are many errors in this "story" and I personally find it upsetting. I will address each point then summarize what my next actions will be.

First, I was able to get to the roof of the nether without assistance. As the console logs will confirm I did lose the first cart at one point but found it again. I did lose half my life at that point trying to get there. (This was long long before the teleport issue or I would have been long dead).

Once I was on the elevator I had difficulty getting to the top and staying there. I verbalized this and again the console log will confirm. I was at no point stuck in a minecart or suffocating once I was on the top of the nether. I complained about not being able to get off the cart and on to the platform as I kept falling back down. This is not stuck or suffocating. No suggestion (which were the same ones every time I tried) worked. I was very frustrated and getting angry. Telling someone the same thing over and over again when they have tried it several times without success is humiliating. I felt stupid. And then told that it was easy. That was too much. If there had been a skype call you would have heard me crying at this point. I felt stupid and useless and getting the same failing instructions over and over again made me feel like a child.

I gave up trying and I chose the only solution available to me, to die on the roof. I took off my gear and dumped it in the chest with my inventory. I had a comment from Phil - check the console log - that if I run I could get rid of my hunger and die. I ran from the gold farm and my hunger decreased. No where in there did I ask for a teleport. My way out was to die up there and then hope the next person who went up would bring my stuff down. If not I could make my own again. The console will confirm this. Phil, you left that part out. I was nowhere near the gold farm and well on my way to dying and getting home on my own terms when I was teleported.

I did not ask it or request it. I did not even get asked. It was done to me. Clearly admin abuse. I had the right to run from the gold farm and die on my own terms. I was not suffocating and there was no rush. The console logs will show that I was asked if I could see the beacon (next to the gold farm) and I said I was far from it. Bald gave the coordinates in chat and I headed back. As far as I knew he was the only one in the nether and was there to help me with the elevator. He had a calm manner and I chose to trust that he may have a better suggestion than the ones I had received to date. I started to head back and in the console it will show that I commented that I was not close to it anymore. At that point I got teleported back to it.

I did not ask, or expect, or desire to be returned to the gold farm. I found a solution that was satisfactory to me. My decision was completely disregarded. The walk back to the gold farm would have given me the time to cool off. But I was not given that option. I was taken from where I was safely walking back and placed IN a block in the gold farm. Still not suffocating, I was glitching and unable to move. (Easily resolved with a relog) I am only assuming I was tp'd again out of the block. AGAIN, NOT AT MY REQUEST.

As all of this is happening, the console notes will show that I said many times I did not want to try again and I wanted to die to get home.

Once back at the gold farm the multiple solutions that had been tried began to bombard me again. Instead of starting the badgering over again, and clearly my solution would not be respected, I told everyone off and logged out. The console logs will show that also.

I commented in the the skype chat that night before turning off my computer. "Rage quit. Back tomorrow. Will require admin tp out. Rage re-engaged." That was my request in the middle of raging so hard I could not even play anymore and went to bed hours earlier than normal. Quite civil actually.

I was teleported potentially twice last night without my permission. I did not request or ask for it as stated in the "story" above. This morning, I logged in seeing two admins in game. Neither answered my hails and being just as frustrated as I was the night before, I lashed out.

My first post this morning clearly shows my frustration but I was polite. "is it possible to have a non afk admin in game please?" As per the rules I went to the admins FIRST. "Someone needs to get me off the top of the nether now please." Simple. Not followed by please, please was included. Not the most polite considering I am a Canadian, but perfectly acceptable. As I was not helped the night before it was clear it had to happen today, not some other day, or after hundreds of more failed attempts. " I have two toddlers don't do well with demands." Something you should have thought about before becoming an admin - it is part of the job.
Bias based on family situation does not have a place here. It is not relevant. It also has no place in a request for votes. It shows a clear bias as you had already decided how you would respond. You intended to see me and respond to me as a child. I can accept that as long as you understand I will not treat you as a parent. Mine are elderly and act like toddlers. I have more respect than that. (This is me being rude - sorry Canada - ruining the rep).

When I went back in this morning, it was started down the same road again. Try this and try that. I tried to explain how it did not work and I got laughed at. Not an lol, but a full hahaha, twice. I was told - and the console will confirm - that I would "have to learn". That was too much and I raged again. This time, in both game and skype, as some of the people talking to me were not in game. Anth states "if u read the chat, i laugh both time coz u rage quit, not coz u are stuck". This is to make me feel better? that you are laughing at my obvious upset and distress? and the only solution I had was to leave.

Chatting with TJ and Luna calmed me down a bit and I did make the comment about payback (with a spelling error, should be "so" not "to" - I am actually impressed with my rage spelling, normally it is impossible to read). As my application states I have a wicked temper that flares very hot then burns out quickly. I logged out last night before I said or did anything I would regret. A very adult thing to do.

My build comment about a "beautiful build" was to lighten the mood. It included the suggestion of bringing me blocks. If I had ever planned to grief it I could have done it any of the other times I was stuck up there. In my application I stated how I was griefed and I know how horrible it is. I would never touch anyone's build. Both Fal and Phil should know that based on the level of concern I had over being too close to Anth's tunnel. Both of them helped me to make sure it was in a good location. I even went and got an enderpearl to be able to get into his tunnel (door does not work) to see where mine was in relation to it. Maybe if the ld:dr crew read my application they would have taken it for the joke it was.

As the instructions were not bad enough in game, they continued in the skype chat. Once again I am told it is "simple" and I need to learn how to use it. This is incredibly rude. IF it were simple, then I would not have an issue with it, or I am too stupid to understand how to use it. So since it does not work for me, draw your own conclusion. MC is where I go to feel better about myself and be creative, not to be told I am too stupid to play.

As for bullying - TJ got it perfectly right "trying to get her to undergo painful experiences". I had made several failed attempts, followed all the useless instructions I was given, explained what I was doing over and over again, and still had no success. Anth's insulting comment then just fueled the fire even more "well, if u listen, and try to use it the proper way, u won't have problem." Really, that simple. "Listening" all last night did not work. Doing what I was told did not work, so by some miracle you think that doing the exact same thing again will? And just because you wish for me to have one more last try (number how many now?) does not make it suddenly happen. TJ actually approached it in a way that was helpful. He was not forcing me to go back and do the same thing over and over again. He was listening, Anth was not, as he gave the same solution he can read in the console for every time I got stuck up there. I am not sure it was not just cut and pasted into the chat from last time.

Luna then came up with the solution that was the only one that really mattered. Ryuk made it happen and the world was all good again. I am eternally grateful to you both for thinking outside of the box. It felt good to be free again. And I knew I would never go to the gold farm again.

Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result it the definition of crazy.

My request was made to the admins only - and mentioned only once in the skype chat - "this time i am requesting it since that is allowed in the game apparently - to inside the nether". It was based on the fact that it had been used already to move me, without necessity, so to move me when I was trapped seemed reasonable, when I got out of bed this morning. I wanted to be on the other side of the roof, not to be sent home as it states, just to the correct side of the nether. Nothing more than the boat or minecart or whatever would have done. ONCE I asked. I did not badger anyone. Both skype chat and the console will show that.

As for the exploding skype, with that many people commenting, it happens. It happens when Fal spams links as well and people comment on it. (Spamming is against the rule btw despite it being a running joke and blowing up skype).

As for the rules I violated:

Don't accuse other players of anything publicly before contacting us (admin) first

There was no admin to contact. Two unresponsive in game and no idea who had tp'd me, I could not accuse anyone. I only stated what was done to me. The console will show I was no where close, in no danger, and I did not ask, to be teleported.


Not wanting to build a home within town with the rest of the community -

I have a home and it even got Halloween decorated. I continue to make improvements on it when I am in spawn. I have not completed the pixel art as the sizing was off and it was getting difficult to find the right pic to put in there. I sleep in that bed when I am in spawn and spend a substantial amount of time in spawn restocking and unlocking villagers. I sorted and labeled the community chest and keep an eye out for more stuff to add. I have even filled the sheep wool chests at the zoo. (ok not at spawn but I wanted to get my credit since that place lags like hell and it is a pain in the butt to do). I feed the animals in the auto- cookers and harvest them. I transport the food to the community chest. Every time I come to spawn I bring a full inventory of items with me including in my ender chest to donate. I have traded for books to leave in the enchanting room to help others get a better start. I even made a banner of a door for a door so that it would not mess up the villager spawner close by.

My home is three levels and has been filled with TNT and creeper exploded. I was killed there in PVP. Just like everyone else. I even streamed from there.

For those who have seen the basic outline of the size of my build, you know there is no way it would have fit in spawn. My basic house is full of stuff I still use, including the bed, proves I have a home there.

I have also participated in every community event that has been run since I joined. I signed up for the PVP tournament and smack talked like the rest. I have participated fully in the community. My skill set does not include redstone farms but I did ensure the temp tree farm had saplings. It may take me longer to do it manually but I had the time to and enjoyed doing it. I have also lit up a lot of under spawn for places that had not been lit and filled in a lot of endermen holes and planted trees around the outer edge of spawn. My next spawn project was to attempt the pixel art again, and to create and light up a path from the mob farm to spawn. There is a substantial gap full of mobs on the way from spawn to the mob farm. No red stone required.

Misinformation/manipulation in group chat to portray a different view of events where she was bullied into going into gold farm -
Misinformation/manipulation in group chat that she was teleported with her permission, which was done to help her

I think these two were addressed above and in the skype chat and if the console chat is shown, it will be shown in there too.

There is a rage request for this board but nothing for skype. -- "Avoid inappropriate rages when posting a thread". I do not rage in posts. I rarely, if ever, post. It is not in my comfort zone to do so.



Now what am I going to do?

My decision was a simple one, in my application I said I was a builder. I am not a redstonner and have no desire to do that. I own a paper book on it and have made several attempts at it (including a 5 level mob farm and a blaze farm - solo). I am not good at it and I do not enjoy it. I love to build. Massive structures using the limited pallet I have makes me incredibly creative. That will never change. No amount of badgering will change that. I do some redstone as you would have seen in my functioning lighthouse (both rotating light and daylight sensor) and other basic redstone builds. But I do not find it fun. This is a game. Why do the things I do not enjoy?

"there is more to minecraft then blocks build" said by Anth.

I wish that had been made clear when I joined that I would have to do things I do not enjoy. I am sorry you do not enjoy block building. I do. That was clear in my application and you accepted me on that basis. I hid nothing. I wrote a long and detailed application.

As a former owner and many times over admin, I fully understand the reason for the rules. I follow them very carefully. I read them several times and all of the comments in the forum before I even applied. I read all of the other applications and the comments on them. I wrote to Phil about the server and asked several questions based on my personal irl situation. Then I applied.

Based on solely on Anth's comment, I no longer feel I am a good fit for this server. I like to build with blocks. That is why I play a game with only blocks to build with. It appears that my application was not taken seriously. I was clear about who I am. I was clear about what I like to do and how I do it. It is also clear that even if I am voted back on the white list I will not be able to express myself in a way that I am comfortable with. I am not ok with that. No one should be.

I really do thank TJ, Luna, and Ryuk for thinking outside the box and I hope the admins listen to your ideas. I hope they learn from your way of thinking and deescalating a situation. The three of you made me feel safe and secure and gave me hope again. MC went back to being fun. I got a lot of my interior build done today and was close to moving my base bed down from the n00b platform. I had hoped to complete my nether tunnel tonight, and gather pixel art resources. Finally found a polar bear that would fit!

This post has taken that away. Instead of the admins discussing it with me, they took it to a vote. (wait, was there not a rule about that Nice heads up btw. Ping on my phone when giving out candy to kids.

I do hope they post the console chat in here for all to read.  If being transparent is really truly important then it should be despite it being irrelevant now.  The people have the right to see!

I have enjoyed my substantial time on the server until now. I wish you all the best of luck. I hope I will find a server full of TJs, Lunas, and Ryuks.

Feel free to chat with me when you like. OR watch my stream on twitch Auntie_Lisa and say hi. You are always welcome to chat with me there. I will leave the group chat as I am not longer part of the group or the server.

My parting suggestion is that you do a better job screening applicants and making sure you are clear to them what your expectations are - no pure builders. I was disappointed. I thought I had done the work to find a home. I guess not.


Good night and God Bless. (oops - broke a rule there LOL)

Lisa - Polar L aka Auntie Lisa

tl:dr - this is my goodbye so read the damn thing you lazy shit